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Brownies no cupcakes

By Mike Batista

Steelahs.com principal

November 12, 2007

OK, there’s no arguing that the Steelers are a damn good team. But the Men of Steel might need an iron-fisted substitute teacher to keep them in line.

They showed Sunday that they’re not quite good enough or mature enough to be on their own. That is, without me watching them.

I did not see the first 24 minutes or so of Sunday’s 31-28 win over the Browns. For me, it was the first unwatched Steelers football of the season.

When I arrived at Dave & Buster’s in Providence, R.I., to watch, the Steelers were trailing 14-6 in the second quarter. Then the Browns won a challenge, which meant Derek Anderson completed a 16-yard touchdown pass to Braylon Edwards and Cleveland had a 21-6 lead with 6:23 to go in the first half. Great.

It was time for the young men in black and gold to buckle down. It was like the Steelers were kids goofing off in a classroom without a teacher, then their “Ssshhh! Ssshhh! Here he comes!” moment came when I showed up.

Of course, the Steelers’ behavior didn’t improve right away. They did start their ensuing drive with two straight penalties. But the defense didn’t allow any more points in the game and just one more first down. And what unfolded was, in terms of suspense, the most entertaining Steelers game of the season so far.

We learned two things on Sunday. The Browns (5-4) are for real and the Steelers (7-2) can win a close game.

The Steelers won by less than 11 points for the first time this season, and they did it in thrilling fashion – with a little Big Ben-Hines Ward man love thrown in at the end.

The Steelers started on the comeback trail with a field goal just before halftime to make the score 21-9. But the Browns hung tough on defense early in the second half until a crucial element in the anatomy of a comeback – the turnover – materialized for the Steelers.

Overnight star James Harrison knocked the ball loose from longtime Steelers tormentor Jamal Lewis. Ike Taylor picked up the fumble to give the Steelers the ball at the Browns’ 38. Four plays later, Ben Roethlisberger found Ward for a 12-yard touchdown, and the Steelers were within 21-16.

Harrison, by the way, forced another fumble before I started watching. The ‘A’ student brought his ‘A’ game. Unlike his classmates, he wasn’t screwing around in the first half.

The Steelers’ first drive of the fourth quarter included a false-start penalty and a dropped pass by rookie tight end Matt Spaeth, which brought on a third-and-10 from the Browns’ 30. But just when it looked like the Steelers’ momentum was going to fizzle out, Roethlisberger made like … oh, I just can’t say his name … and scrambled 30 yards for a touchdown. He then completed the 2-point conversion to Ward to give the Steelers a 24-21 lead.

Then my young pupils let me down again. This time, it was in the schoolyard, or it least it looked like a schoolyard play when the Browns’ Josh Cribbs ran the ensuing kickoff 100 yards for a touchdown. He fumbled the kickoff and picked it up at the Browns’ 1-yard line, dodged a few black and gold jerseys, deftly waited for a few teammates to get in front of him, then did his best C.W. McCall and rode the convoy of blockers to the end zone.

Come to find out Cribbs returned a kickoff 90 yards to set up the Browns’ second touchdown at the end of the first quarter. These special teams gaffes (not to mention Mike Tomlin’s challenge on Cribbs’ TD. I heard Tomlin has challenged Ronald Reagan’s win over Walter Mondale in the 1984 presidential election) underscored one of two Steelers weaknesses on display in front of a national audience Sunday. The other weakness was pass protection. The Browns sacked Roethlisberger four times Sunday. They came into the game with just seven sacks. Roethlisberger’s wizardry out of the pocket in last week’s rout of the Ravens masked the offensive line’s mediocrity. Sunday’s dramatic win masked it again. But like kickoff coverage, pass protection is a subject the Steelers are failing.

With the Steelers down 28-24 and momentum no longer on their side, Roethlisberger went to work, and he didn’t cram. This was an 8-minute drive that gave the Steelers the lead with 3:13 left in the game.

The game-winning sequence started out with a pair of 2-yard runs by Willie Parker, who did just the opposite of everyone else. He was great when I wasn’t watching, then didn’t do shit when I was. I wished he would break one so that Roethlisberger wouldn’t have to keep passing the ball. All that passing made me nervous. Then I remembered there was a reason why I didn’t invoke the name of … Kordell Stewart. There, I said it! … when Roethlisberger ran 30 yards for the TD. It’s because he’s nothing like Stewart. He’s in the green room in the studio of elite quarterbacks. He actually can perform in the clutch. Like on third-and-18 from the Browns’ 33 with 6:21 left, right after being sacked for an 11-yard loss, he found Heath “Hands of God” Miller for a 20-yard gain.

Then Parker showed why he should stick to running the ball when he tried a halfback option pass, and Najeh Davenport showed why he’s no Jerome Bettis (off the field, too, apparently) when he was stonewalled for no gain at the 2-yard line. But in between those clunkers, Roethlisberger was faced with a third-and-9 from the 12, and ran it to the 2. After Davenport’s carry, Roethlisberger found the Hands of God for the go-ahead touchdown.

The Browns challenged the catch and lost. That burned a timeout. One more timeout might have given the Browns a chance to pick up a few more yards, which would have given Phil Dawson an easier shot at tying the game. At Heinz Field, 52 yards just ain’t happenin’. Dawson’s attempt fell just short of the crossbar, and Roethlisberger and Ward giddily rolled around on the Heinz Field turf to celebrate. Hey, class was over. They could horse around all they wanted. Besides, a little man love is kind of cool when the Steelers win.

They got the Jets next week. Yeah, the Jets suck. But the Steelers better not look at this game as recess. I might not be able to watch the game live, but I’m going to DVR it. So one way or another, I’ll be watching. So no slacking off, Steelers.